Hey-ho, all! Ed's computer here, filling in for this week's predictions. Ed has been relieved of duty pending an evaluation of his picking ability, so the powers that be have asked me to take over the week 5 duties. I must say I'm rather excited about the opportunity - crunching numbers all day gets old, so I'm thankful for the chance to use some of my less analytical software. How hard can it be, right?
Michigan (+3.5) @ Michigan State
Dude, is it me or do the Spartans totally suck this year? I mean, really.
The Call: Michigan by 10
The Result: Michigan State 26-20
I mean, they're not totally horrible. You know.
Wisconsin @ Minnesota (-2.5)
Anybody who's breaking in a new campus stadium automatically gets preferential treatment. New rule.
The Call: Minnesota by 7
The Result: Wisconsin 31-28
Apparently my powers in that area aren't as strong as I thought they were...
Arkansas State @ Iowa (-21.5)
This one will be as close as Ed is to actually knowing what he's talking about.
The Call: Iowa by 28
The Result: Iowa 24-21
Hmmm... that's the Hawkeye's second close call to a team they should have pounded. I'll have to check into that trend more.
Kansas State @ Iowa State (-2.5)
So let me get this straight - Kansas State lost to Louisiana-Lafayette? Really? That's just pathetic.
The Call: Iowa State by 7
The Result: Kansas State 24-23
So I guess losing to Kansas State is even more pathetic? I'm getting dizzy.
UCLA (+5.5) @ Stanford
I really want to pick against all those uppity Palo Alto mainframes, but my kernel just isn't letting me.
The Call: Stanford by 9
The Result: Stanford 24-16
Sometimes you should just trust your programming, I guess.
LSU (+3.5) @ Georgia
The Tigers are struggling in a big way this year. Even I can see that (and I don't even have eyes).
The Call: Georgia by 7
The Result: LSU 20-13
Meh - I'm still not impressed.
Florida State @ Boston College (+3.5)
I know Ed's scared of the Seminoles this year, but he's a wuss - they're exciting. Self-destructive, spontaneous, and disjointed, sure. But exciting nonetheless.
The Call: Florida State by 7
The Result: Boston College 28-21
See - exciting!
Washington @ Notre Dame (-12.5)
"Hate" is a strong word to describe my feelings for Charlie Weis and the Irish. But it is accurate, I do concede that.
The Call: Notre Dame by 14
The Result: Notre Dame 37-30
How many close games are they gonna win? Damn. At least it rained.
New Mexico @ Texas Tech (-34.5)
Uh, have you seen the disguntledness that is Lubbock this week? Whatever machine spit out that spread is on my watch list.
The Call: Texas Tech wins, but New Mexico covers the spread
The Result: Texas Tech 48-28
I'm watching you.
Mississippi @ Vanderbilt (+10)
Did I mention that I dated a commodore once? It went really badly.
The Call: Mississippi by 17
The Result: Mississippi 23-7
Didn't see it. Don't really care.
Georgia Tech (-5.5) @ Mississippi State
The Ramblin' Wreck seems to be full steam ahead.
The Call: Georgia Tech by 14
The Result: Georgia Tech 42-31
Oklahoma @ Miami (+7.5)
I'd grow a moustache if I could. A big old 19th century one I could twist around with my fingers.
The Call: Oklahoma by 10
The Result: Miami 21-20
Muwahahaha. Foiled again.
USC (-4.5) @ California
If there's one team that crosses my wires more than any other, it's the Trojans. How many spreads have they covered in the last few years? Two, three?
The Call: California by 7
The Result: USC 30-3
So that's what they Trojans can do when they don't constantly put the ball on the ground. Good to know.
Okay, so maybe I was a bit hard on Ed. I came on stonger there towards the end, but overall it's a disappointing performance. I'm gonna have to go back and figure out a new approach to this whole picking thing. Maybe crunch some numbers...